While sometimes a marriage dissolves over one event, other times it is a slow wearing down of the relationship that leads to one or both spouses contemplating divorce. Tension can run especially high during difficult times, especially when you and your spouse are confined to the house and facing new stressors in your lives.
Filing for divorce is seldom an easy decision, but in some cases, it is even more difficult to figure out why you want out of the marriage. It is not a decision to make rashly since it will change your life.
You may have more bad times than good times. You may have moments when it takes all your energy to not just walk away. If you are going in circles wondering if divorce is the right move for you, you should take some time to carefully consider your goals and motives before filing any papers.
Are you noticing red flags?
Do you want out of the marriage, or do you simply wish your marriage were better? This is an important distinction that will help you decide what to do next. Can you see your marriage from an outside perspective? If a friend were in your situation, would you advise him or her to stay or leave?
While there is no one answer that fits every situation, there are some the signs that commonly indicate a marriage is over, including:
- You are avoiding common routines partners share such as eating meals together.
- Your spouse is verbally, emotionally, financially or physically abusive, or you are no longer able to demonstrate respect for each other in front of the children.
- There is no joy, laughter or fun in your relationship.
- Your spouse refuses to seek treatment for addiction to drugs, alcohol, gambling, pornography or other issues.
- You are no longer intimate physically or emotionally, you feel no tenderness toward your spouse, and/or you would not care if your spouse were unfaithful.
- You can no longer stir up the memories of the good times you used to have or the reason you were attracted to your spouse in the first place.
If the thought of divorcing and starting a new, fresh life is what gets you out of bed in the morning, this is the time to take every possible step to save your marriage. However, you may already know what your decision will be. If that is the case, you can speak to a family law attorney to learn more about the divorce process.